Comings and Goings

Mothering Sunday

Mothering Sunday


It was Mothering Sunday in the UK yesterday and I had a wonderful day. Having accidentally dropped a hint on ‘What’s App,’ my three children who live abroad remembered to send me cards, flowers, text messages and most importantly, their love. I am very fortunate though to have my youngest daughter and my adorable grandson living very near me. They came round for lunch bearing flowers and a beautiful gift that little Stanley had personalized. It is a ceramic train that he painted red and it has his little finger prints all over it ~ I will treasure it always.
As usual Mothering Sunday brings a mixture of feelings. It is less than 30 months since my mum died and my emotions are still very raw. My mother lived in the same road as me, which was great when I was caring for her. But now that the house is empty and up for sale, I find it sad to go there and deal with its disposal.
The house is on a corner plot. At the front there is a lovely park with a stream and woods beyond where my children played when they were young. In the distance there are the beautiful Cotswold Hills. After my mother became unable to move around, she sat at the front window literally 24 hours a day. She loved her views and the constantly changing scenes being played out ‘over the park’. The sequence of events has varied little over the years, although the main characters grow, move, die and are replaced.
Early in the mornings there is the noisy clatter of the milkman who still delivers pints in glass bottles to his customers of many years. When my son was a teenager he used to get up at 4am to help the milkman with his round to earn his pocket money, before going to school.
This is followed by the dog walkers who go out in all winds and weathers to exercise their dogs before going to work.
Next, the many locals who work at the Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ) pass by. GCHQ is a major local employer and is housed in a magnificent building nicknamed ‘The Doughnut’, because of its unusual shape.
Sometime later, the mums, dads, grandparents or carers taking children to the nearby schools pass by, the children happily skipping and chatting as they rush along the pavement. The parents are usually struggling with pushchairs, schoolbags, toys and umbrellas. It is noticeable that no-one seems to use prams now, just very complex buggy systems.
Later the local retired men gather on the corner of the field having collected their daily newspaper. They sit on the bench, put there in memory of a previous resident, and put the world to rights.
Once the children are settled in school, the dog walkers come out in force. Some are on a mission and walk briskly from one end of the field to the other. Others gather in little groups to chat while the dogs run about, sniffing each other warily before chasing each other and playing boisterously together. There are professional dog walkers who bring 4, 5 or even 6 dogs at a time to get their daily exercise. Then there is the dog trainer, a very serious young man, who displays an impressive control over his beautiful sheepdogs as they sit, lie, wait, come or fetch at the sound of his voice or a brief series of whistles. His praise is their only reward.
Much later the local postman, Gary, comes and parks his little red van opposite the house. He must walk miles in a day but he is always cheerful and concerned for everyone on his round.
Occasionally, in an ageing community, there will be a paramedic’s car or an ambulance outside a house. News of this travels fast, usually via the hairdresser, which is how most local news is carried round the estate.
There have been a few dramas and terrible tragedies on the park in the past. Some years ago a distressed young man sat in the local pub talking to himself and having a pint of beer alone, with a rope beside him. Although people thought this was strange no-one thought to interrupt him, get involved, or get help. Later of course he was found hanging from a tree in the park. I do wonder if a well-chosen word, a friendly face, or an offer of help might have saved him. But people don’t like to intrude on others’ privacy.
Another young man was found dead in the playground after an apparent accidental overdose of drugs. Such a waste of a life, and so sad. The night does strange things to people and young men seem to be particularly at risk I think.
But most of the time the park is a happy, friendly place and the scene of a lot of fun and games.
Four years ago it was noticed that there were daffodil stems growing in a strange pattern on the grassy field. Now virtually every grass verge in the Cotswolds is covered in daffodils each March, either wild or cultivated. In Cheltenham it is the first thing that greets visitors to Cheltenham races. In the forest there are so many wild daffodils that there is a dedicated daffodil walk.
But it was very unusual to see them growing in this spot and they had appeared so mysteriously. As I walked my dog each day I noticed the pattern growing but it was not until the flowers appeared that the message was clear. The daffodils spelled out “MARRY ME”.
The local newspaper begged for details of who the romantic person was who planted this unusual proposal and eventually a young man owned up. He also revealed that his girlfriend had said “Yes”.
I walked there last night and the words are still visible. Isn’t that a lovely way to propose? I find it very touching.
I have lived opposite this park for 30 years and I never tire of it. It brings me a great deal of comfort to know that in her later years when she couldn’t get out and about, my mum was able to sit and enjoy this bustling and beautiful little corner of the world.
The house is empty and silent now except for prospective buyers being shown around it. No doubt they will renovate the whole place with new bathroom and kitchen and decor. My mum’s home will be unrecognizable and the past will be obliterated, every trace of the lovely couple who lived there will be gone. But they will never be forgotten.

If you still have parents, or anyone who is special to you, do tell them before its too late.
This poem was included in the funeral sheet for a dear friend of mine who used to travel ACROSS to Lourdes with us on the Jumbulance. I have written posts about our trips to Lourdes before. The poem was written by Susan M Greenwood of North West Hosanna House Group

If with pleasure you are viewing
Any work that I am doing,
If you like me, or you love me, tell me now.
Don’t withhold your approbation
Till the Father makes oration
And I lie with snowy lilies o’er my brow.
For no matter how you shout it,
I won’t care so much about it,
I won’t see how many tear drops you have shed.
If you think some praise is due me.
Now’s the time to slip it to me,
For I cannot read my tombstone when I’m dead.

More than fame and more than money
Is the comment warm and sunny,
Is the hearty warm approval of a friend.
For it gives to life a savour
And it makes me stronger, braver,
And it gives to me the spirit to the end.
If I earn your praise bestow it,
If you like me, let me know it,
Let the words of true encouragement be said.
Do not wait till life is over
And I’m underneath the clover,
For I cannot read my tombstone when I’m dead.

Cornwall here I Come

I am so thrilled to be going back to Cornwall for a holiday this year. A holiday and travel in general is a rare treat since my hubby started dialysis some years ago. We can only go to an area with a hospital that offers holiday dialysis ~ and has a vacant week. Twice we have been fortunate enough to get holidays in Dorset and I have written about those before.
Last year we travelled to Truro where the general hospital also offers holiday dialysis. Having never explored Cornwall I had great plans of all the places I wanted to see. But my hopes were firmly dashed when the car broke down before we even got to our hotel!
There’s only one thing to do in those circumstances I find ~ write a poem ~ so here it is…

I came for cool, clean, salty air
For cloudless skies and seagulls
I came for peace, tranquillity,
For time to think of only me

I came to stop, to rest, to think
To wander country lanes
I came to taste delicious meals
And sparkling wines to drink

I came this county to explore
Its hillsides, gardens and seashore
‘Til my car broke down it was going so well ~
Now I’m confined to my hotel!

I did manage to visit some tin mines,  the Lost Gardens of Heligan and the Minack Theatre once my car was fixed, and you can see photos of them by clicking their links.

Here are some photos I didn’t manage to post…

Grandma’s House

our tiny bungalow
Grandma’s house is very small
Just 2 bedrooms off the hall
A tiny kitchen, shiny-floored
A larder where my treats are stored
A shower with a seat inside
Wardrobes where doggy and I can hide
An archway leads into the lounge
Where furniture gets moved around
To make a station for my trains
Or an airport for ‘copters and planes
Sometimes it’s a racetrack for my cars
Or a farmyard with tractors, paddocks and barns
Grandma puts blankets over the table
To make a den, a forest or a stable
In the garden there’s gravel that scrunches when I walk
And a patio where I can draw pictures with chalk
In granddad’s shed there are drawers full of tools,
Boxes of nails, tubes of glue, jars of screws
A little mouse is nesting inside the wood store
While outside live birds, bees, hedgehogs and more
Grandma says her shed is a magical place
It’s furnished and carpeted and curtained with lace
Lavender hangs drying from the painted ceiling
While pine shelves are covered in things that have meaning
Like Icons from Finland, and medals from Lourdes
Calabash from Africa made out of gourds
Matrushkas from Moscow, maracas from Spain
I can’t wait for summer to play there again
Grandma loves it when I come to play
She makes indoor picnics we eat off a tray
She has lots of photos all over her wall
The best one is my mummy when she was small.
tunnel of love

Mary

This is a poem written on Poet’s Corner. It is deals with a sad condition which affects so many families now. Ageing relatives can grow confused and their lives shrink. But we must always remember to spend time with them, listen to them, and remember they have stories to tell of their lives. A photo, a song, a perfume, anything can turn the key on these locked stories. You will be richly rewarded for any efforts you make to find that key for your loved one.

Mary.

No School Day

angel of the north in snow

It snowed overnight and the roads are a fright,

So the schools are all closed ~ on a Friday!

Mums and dads can’t drive, their cars slip and slide

So its family fun on a school day.

Dogs in bright jackets are leaping for joy

Taken out for a walk, on a school day.

Babies and toddlers peep out of their prams

They’re going to the park, on a school day.

Tiny tots muffled in mittens and hats,

Squeal in delight, on a school day.

Giggling girls, hugging their friends,

Slide down the hill, on a school day.

Teen terrors in hoodies become little boys

Throwing snowballs at girls, on a school day.

Steep slopes draw the daring on sledges and boards,

They hurtle downhill, on a school day.

I sit at the window and, like falling snow,

My thoughts pile up into drifts.

My smiles turn to tears at the sights and sounds

Of my school days, as the frozen scene shifts.

Of ink wells and blotters, of wafers and milk,

Of chalk boards and outside loos;

Of walking to school by the RiverTyne,

Of castles, and coalmines and ships.

And then there are people, who wave as they pass,

Loved aunties and cousins and friends

A sister and brother no longer in touch

A mother and father I mourned.

There are icicles hanging near a frozen stream,

The snow covered branches are bending

The field is a snow frosted wonderland

Its beauty my broken heart mending.

My mum and I in days gone by

My mum and I in days gone by

My mum and I in days gone by.  It is 6 years since my mum died, it has gone by so quickly in some ways, yet so slowly in others.  I reckon I think about her more now than ever before.  Today I visited her grave and put her favourite pink flowers there.  It is in a perfect setting near the hills above Cheltenham, ina lawned   garden.  The trees are all golden, orange and red now that Autumn is here and they look so beautiful.  She would have enjoyed that.

As We Look Back ~ unknown

As we look back over time
We find ourselves wondering …..
Did we remember to thank you enough
For all you have done for us?
For all the times you were by our sides
To help and support us …..
To celebrate our successes
To understand our problems
And accept our defeats?
Or for teaching us by your example,
The value of hard work, good judgement,
Courage and integrity?
We wonder if we ever thanked you
For the sacrifices you made.
To let us have the very best?
And for the simple things
Like laughter, smiles and times we shared?
If we have forgotten to show our
Gratitude enough for all the things you did,
We’re thanking you now.
And we are hoping you knew all along,
How much you meant to us.

Free

Image

Free Spirit ~ my beautiful daughter

I know the real me.

At the core of my being,

My spirit is free!

 

Nothing is free!

Mankind is a mess.

Motivated by money,

Morality’s mired.

 

Free Trade ~ there has to be a way found to share the earth’s resources more equitably.  It is unsustainable for the majority to live in dire poverty while the minority consume without conscience.

Free trade or fair trade

Ethical extremities,

Conscience compromised.

Free  people ~ I find it ridiculous that different ethnic peoples can not  respect each other’s differences and reach compromise.  Will conflict never end?

Trapped in tradition,

Hostages to history,

Future’s foreboding.

Free food ~ I find it amazing when I walk in the countryside, that there is an abundance of fruit on the trees and in the hedgerows, and people don’t seem to pick it.  They prefer to go to a supermarket and buy inferior stuff at inflated prices in polythene bags.  Why?

Free for the hungry

Nature’s abundant harvest

Hanging on the trees

Image

Acquainted with the Night

Following on from an earlier post about how the Artist’s Way and journalling helped me when I was feeling very low, I thought I would pass on another tip for beating those dark night’s of the soul ~ walking.  I revisited a poem that sums up how I felt then and I thought I would copy it here for you.  I used to walk 3 to 6 miles a night, regardless of the weather, while it was dark and quiet  so I could think my own thoughts.  The fresh air and exercise is a great way to aid sleep as well as soothe the mind.

Now that I am well I still walk ~ but in daylight and looking outward at the beauty in the world around me ~ not looking inward at my cares and woes.

It may seem obvious, but it may help others to know that the bad times pass.  Life is so short, it is worth living to the full.

Acquainted with the Night

I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain — and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height,
A luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.

Robert Frost

A little bit of magic

I went to a memorial service today for a young man of 36 whom I used to teach.  He was a beautiful soul who saw through life’s shams.  One of his tributes was from his brother who remembered him saying

“you know bro the trouble with the world is people love things and use people, and we are meant to use things and love people”.  I was deeply touched by this and some of his poetry.  I have reproduced one of his poems here for you as a tribute to him.

I believe in magic

like stories once we were told

of fantasy

of fe fi fo fum

of rainbows giving us gold

I believe in magic

‘s just a twinkle in an eye

feelings, I can’t explain to you

‘s like the wisdom of our sky

Life is magic……

it makes you want/want to “free beauty”

…..so beauty can be found ?

as hidden it can be !

Let your selfish side sound

& truly beauty cannot free

but the light you might’ve missed

hits as sunshine when you know

that a true open smile played the twist

to let beauty’s secret show…..

Love peace & harmony for a better world

…..fret ye not for a day shall come

wrongs made right as they should be

all is said as shall be done

our minds in righteous unity…..

©Ashley Cassin

Notes from Ashley. It’s about everything in life being connected, containing spirit.  From the trees to the flowers to the birds & the bees to you & me to the stars in the sky & the one that keeps us alive, I’m trying to explain that peace & harmony is love or love is peace & harmony or love is god or god is love, I believe it as I write & this whole world could benefit from not abusing love (calling it their own ) as it is in so many differing ways, what if love is the energy of life, & people are fighting -killing for it, then it becomes the opposite of what it is. We should always be thankful, accepting, respecting everything everybody. we’re all individuals, but we’re all just atoms in this energy, so why can we just live with it.

A Globe of Gold

The weather is so beautiful and this Spring is so exquisite that I just have to quote Thomas Traherne  the 17th century Poet & Mystic

“Heaven! is not that an Endless Sphere
Where all thy Treasures and thy Joys appear?
If that be Heaven it is Evrywhere

Heaven surely is a State and not a Place
To be in Heaven’s to be full of Grace
Heaven is wherever we see God’s face.”

Taking a walk by a lake today all I could hear was the birds.  I felt the warm sun on my face and the soft breeze blowing through the trees was so welcome.  A confused woodpecker was pecking at a flagpole on top of the old manor house and the ducks were swimming purposefully to distract me from their nests.   Just metres away in one direction was the new ASDA superstore and in the other was the litter strewn A40.  But for 10 minutes I was in a sacred space and I could see God’s face.

Gardens of Lindor House

Yew No. 40 ~ Painswick Churchyard

Yew No. 40
Life has formed you, twisted you,
Smoothed you, soothed you
Jagged, dark, and fragile you stand.
Where is your soul?
In the branches you gave life to,
The gnarled core split open to the world,
Or the smooth, worn bark that covers your pain.
You have lived, three hundred years and more
You have grown and changed.
You are beautiful still.