by

Family ~ Weekly Photo Challenge

1997
2011

Many years ago, it seems like another lifetime, I was a busy single mum to 4 wonderful children. I had a full time job that I loved, a nice home that was all my own work, an adorable miniature wire haired dachshund and a stray cat who turned up one day and stayed for 17 years. Over the years I progressed from teacher to deputy head and then Headteacher of a great primary school at the heart of an estate in my adopted home town. Luckily my profession fitted in perfectly with being a single parent as I was usually around in school holidays and always at weekends. But if ever there was a crisis due to illness or something I had the backup of my mum who lived nearby and was always delighted to look after the children or pets!

My school and parish was my community and together with my family, was the source of all the joy, friendship and social life I needed. Although I knew my immediate neighbours, my life was much too busy to get involved in the local community or the people in the wider neighbourhood.

And so life went on and my children became adults and gradually left home. I had always encouraged them to follow their dreams and take any opportunity they could to travel and sample other ways of life and other cultures. I was lucky enough to travel extensively through my job, working with schools in Russia and Africa. I also took great holidays in America, Canada and many parts of Europe. So I think I probably went a bit too far with this advice as now 3 of my children live and work abroad!

As my children grew more independent I filled my spare time travelling to Lourdes at every available opportunity as a volunteer/helper with the sick or disabled whom we called VIPs. This was one of the most rewarding 10 years of my life. It also indirectly brought me my wonderful second husband who was also a volunteer.

I knew that I was very lucky in every way and I worked very hard to try and improve the life chances of the children in my school. But of course life has a way of turning your world upside down sometimes. For me several events occurred to produce the perfect storm that would shatter my well ordered life. I buried my feelings and worked harder and harder until my body refused to do any more and I had to retire.

There then followed 5 very gruelling years which felt like 50 years. I was caring for my mum who was disabled after a heart attack. I only ever went out of the house to shop or for their hospital appointments. I became reclusive, antisocial and anxious. By 2009 my life and social circle was as limited as it could possibly be.

Then in that Autumn my youngest daughter said some women wanted to start a WI in our area. She said she thought it would be good for me so she would go with me to the inaugural meeting. It took all my courage to turn up that night and fortunately there were only a handful of women there. In fact there were so few that almost everyone there ended up on the committee by default! My daughter said I was good on computers so could be the secretary.

Now, almost 4 years on, I know that joining the WI was the best thing I could have done. At first I forced myself to go to all the meetings as I had to take notes. Gradually it became a pleasure to attend the meetings and I looked forward to them. I joined the Book Club and started reading again. I started putting my name down for trips and events. To give me the courage to turn up for them I took my camera to hide behind and became our unofficial photographer. I ventured out to concerts and big events like the AGM in Cardiff. It still takes quite a lot of courage for me to attend these things but I know that if I am struggling I will not be alone. The friendship and support WI members offer each other is very special. I even joined the Public Affairs Committee at our Federation.

Usually I find that the speakers at meetings are so interesting that I completely forget to worry or panic and just enjoy myself!

Now the WI is my community and my family. Through joining, I have rediscovered my creative side, writing a blog at http://www.heavenhappens.wordpress.com I have become outgoing and physically active again and renewed my interest in campaigning.

Best of all, when I walk anywhere in my local area now I seem to know everyone and they all stop for a chat. I feel that I am part of a vibrant and supportive community.

The WI offers all kinds of opportunities to all kinds of women. I would advise any woman of any age to join and get involved to whatever extent you feel able.

The WI is all about inspiring women. It is a rich source of experiences, knowledge and skills passed down through generation ~ and updated every day!

WI even enriches my now rare holidays, as I try to pop in to a local meeting while I am away. It is fascinating to see how different WIs conduct their meetings. But I can honestly say that whichever WI I go to, I know a warm welcome is guaranteed.

I am so happy with my life now and I thank God every day for my wonderful family, friends and community.

37 thoughts on “Family ~ Weekly Photo Challenge”

  1. It’s difficult when the children are spread far and wide – I also raised four by myself (I have 3 boys and 1 girl) so appreciate the hard work it takes, but you obviously did a good job, you have four fabulous offspring. This is a brave post, but thought-provoking. I’m not sure the WI is for me, but I definitely need to get out there and meet people. I am finding that the less I go out, the less I want to and that is NOT good.
    Jude xx

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    • Ah Jude I know just how that feels but it is so invigorating to get out and get involved. If you read my previous post you’ll see just how different my life is now! In fact I probably do too much! But it’s fun- just bite the bullet and join SOMETHING! ANYTHING!

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    • Oh you are so right. God has been very good to me and I count my blessings every day. There can be no joy so great as that of a mother whose children grow up well and with the capacity to be self sufficient.
      I do so hope you are blessed too x

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  7. Beautiful post Brenda, lovely to learn more about your family life. You are a great inspiration to us all, and living proof that you can turn your life around no matter what happens. Thank you for sharing the beautiful photos too, lovely family 🙂

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    • Ah thank you Sherri. I dithered over whether it was ethical to post photos of my beautiful children but I thought it through and decided it was ok. They are all wonderful in very different ways and I am so grateful that, even though they live in 3 different countries,, they remain close and supportive and get together when they can x

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      • I feel the same way about my children. My boys live and work in West Sussex (we live in Somerset) and so we get together as much as we can but I don’t get to see them as regularly as some of my friends with their children who still live in the same town.

        When I lived in the States for almost 20 years all my family were still in England and I missed them terribly. It makes the times together that much more special though doesn’t it? x

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      • Goodness, your children certainly caught the travel bug! Yes, Somerset, is lovely but you live in not such a bad place yourself and you take some gorgeous pics of your surroundings 🙂 x

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      • The Cotswolds are beautiful, Hubby and I visited once a few years ago and plan to do so again! I know what you mean about the sea though, all my life I’ve only ever lived within a 30 minute drive from it and so I would probably feel the same way as you. Although I do adore those gorgeous villages and as for the countryside…

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      • I grew up near the North Sea so it is in my blood and I miss it. Next time you come to the Cotswolds we could meet up for afternoon tea in a lovely village!!

        Sent by Brenda Kimmins

        >

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      • Now that’s interesting -for me it was Brighton Beach and then the North Sea when we moved to Suffolk!!
        Brenda, it would be wonderful to meet up for afternoon tea, I will definitely let you know when we plan to come your way! How lovely :- x

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